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Saturday, December 29, 2007

And After the holidays....

Well, the week was a whirlwind as I knew it would be. It would have been nice to have had that last day before Christmas Eve to do any last minute shopping and make sure I had everything I needed, but I didn't have it, so I dealt with my missing items by phoning Mom to bring them. It all worked out, but I knew it could've been better. The trip itself wasn't so bad, but there was little in it that enriched my life. No one asked about me, despite my asking about them. It was good for the boys, but a little too good in the presents department and I worry about that. As it is, only one of Gibson's 3 big trucks has been opened and played with and I don't think Oliver has picked up the Spiderman helicopter since being home. The kids get so much stuff. We may hide some of it away for a while and bring it out later when a "new" thing is needed. Christmas Eve was less chaotic than usual. The kids are a little older and better able to negotiate with each other. I was pleased with the books and clothes that came on that day. It wasn't all a big toy fest. And Christmas went well. I did have to call for a few items (milk, onion, cranberry sauce) but whatever wasn't there we did without. My sugar cookies didn't work so we didn't have them. Maybe people ate less sweets because of that. Through it all I was sick, doped up on Tylenol Cold, but that actually helped because I just wanted to get it done and be there. We had a few games in the evening and it was all good fun with none of the usual brother-sister badgering (strange that).

Friday, December 21, 2007

Feeling Better?...

Well someone must have said "no" to one of the 6 ladies in The Ladies Singing Their Song because I was just offered it. I lost the Real Estate Agent part, but that's okay, I'd rather have a chance to sing. Should be cool. Magnolia is also singing in that number so we shall have to kick it!

Sucking it up....

I decided to do the show. I am still feeling a little low about it because I really wanted Arlene and I know I would have rocked the part. I am also worried about how much singing I will get to do but I have been reassured by Marie that I will be doing a lot of singing. I am not so sure because it doesn't seem like that kind of a show, but it may be that there is more chorus stuff that just isn't on the soundtrack.

The way my musical theatre experience has played out in Edmonton so far has really messed with my self-image. In Fort McMurray I was what Judy is here. I haven't been able to show that and I thought this would be the role. There is something liberating about being able to recreate yourself, but I hate that I feel like that in doing so I have lost a big part of my self-identity. El Muchacho was something, but it wasn't the kind of stuff I do best, this show would have been. There is also something exhausting about having to pay my dues again when I have been doing this stuff since 1982. What is that? 25 years? Yikes!

Oh well, I am sucking it up (though it may not seem that way). Both Magnolia and Shelby are on board and it will be great to see them on a more regular basis. I can tell you, there will be no room for diva-crap from the leads in this show... not with so many talented people in the ensemble... I know I won't stand for it.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Disappointment and Decision...

Well, I didn't get it... and now I have to decide if I want to do what I was offered. I knew the odds were there, but I had hoped high. I don't know if I can go and do the show and hear the other people singing the songs I want to be singing and be "happy" with the part I am left with. I have until Boxing Day to let Clyde know. I have just done my "ensemble" time and if I do decide to do the show, the person who has my part had better be FLAWLESS.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Callbacks - Why can't everyone else suck?

Okay, the title says it all. I had a good callback but so did a lot of other people and there are only 3 roles. I figure it is down to me and one other person for Arlene. I can't fault that since we were both strong, but I will be disappointed if I don't get it. This is only because I really want it and I would kick major a$$ in the role. I also want to be in it with my friends and I am not sure if the combination will be what they are looking for. It is all about waiting now and I don't wait well.

Friday, December 14, 2007

AUDITIONS - Finally a REALLY GOOD Musical Audition...

Tonight I auditioned for Baby with ELOPE. I have worked with Marie Nychka, one of the directors, 3 times before but had never met the other director Randy Mueller. I was a little nervous because since moving to Edmonton I have not had the best auditions for musicals. This is because in McMurray I was severely spoiled by having either Mike Eddy or Carol Anderson play for me and they are both geniuses on the piano. Tonight I had the magic - Randy is a genius too! Yay! Anyhow, both songs went beautifully, my monologue rocked and I am called back for Tuesday night. The songs they want me to look at are for the character I am interested in and Randy even said "she has the perfect kind of voice for this show" (yippee!). Even if I don't get it, I will feel good about what I have done. I could not have done better.

Principal punched in face by angry parent...

I periodically surf the yahoo news articles and saw the above headline (or something like that). The article didn't give many details other than a male parent entered the school, was arguing with the female principal and then began hitting her in the face. He is now being charged with assault. This story bothers me because something like this can happen, and what bothered me even more was the "comments" afterwards. Many commenters were appalled but many were applauding the hitter and asking "what did the Principal do to create the situation?" as though that mattered. Sad sad sad.... Many people ask me if I intend to go back to teaching. I don't know. I have had 'scary' parent-teacher interviews where I signalled to the teacher at the next table over to 'rescue' me from an aggressive parent. I have had parent meetings that have caused me to cry later on. I didn't just stop teaching because I wanted to be home with my kids (although that was part of it), but also because I was so tired of dealing with the parents of the children I taught. Not all of them. The majority were amazing, supportive people. However, the terrible few, usually the parents of my most challenging students, made the job not worth going back to. At least not for a while.

So I miss the work. I miss the kids. But I don't miss feeling like with some kids I care more about their learning than their parents. And I don't miss being treated like an idiot by people who have a major teacher-hate thing.

Friday, December 07, 2007

Losing Will... film premiere...

I just got back from seeing Losing Will at Zeidler Hall (Metro Cinema) at the Citadel Theatre. Two of my former students (Arlen Konopaki and Mike Robertson) directed it and were also 2 of the 4 co-writers. There are sections of the scripts that were improvised around a suggested concept so the 3 main actors were technically all writers. Other former students were also involved in the film (from sound design to medical research). They also filmed part of the movie in Fort McMurray though it is not credited as the Fort. I was very impressed with the work done. Some of the acting seems rough and there were some strange bits that got a lot of laughs but could easily leave someone with a "what the?" feeling, however they really tried to tell the story. I loved the soundtrack and the flashbacks that were used. It was hard to believe that they made the film for $3000 (no grants). These young guys took a concept, took their own money, begged many favours from friends and family and made it happen. They didn't wait around for someone to give them the money - they just took the risk. Way to go!

The film shows Sat and Sun at 7 p.m. Go see it.

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Panto Pandemonium...

I took Oliver to see Sinbad the Sailor at Walterdale last night. It was a very committed show and there were many fine performances, particularly from the leads. Oliver had a lot of fun until about 10:15 when he just started to feel too tired (I kept him home today because who knows what he would be like at school after last night). The show didn't end until 11:00 p.m.

The funniest part for me (and the best for Oliver) was when Oliver got to go onstage to guess the camel's name. He was by far the "best" for audience particiaption in the first act and apparently the cast LOVED him (we were told this by Wayne Arthurson who went backstage at intermission), so when volunteers were asked for to name the camel Ollie's hand shot up and they literally were already looking right at him to bring him down. He was so excited. They obviously had a plan, the third person to guess would obviously be the "correct" guesser, so Oliver was asked last and he "won" (a nice handful of candy - great...). But then he came back to the seat and told me this: "Mom, I was really worried about guessing, because I usually guess wrong, but that name was really easy." The name he guessed? "Camel".

So the show has many plusses, but it is a mixed bag and there were parts that were well-performed but should have been cut for the sake of the whole piece. It is hard as a director to do that, but you have to make the hard choices. The whole Thriller sequence - cut it --> maybe keep the first verse for the joke, but not the whole thing. Not because it was poorly performed, it just stopped the action and didn't add anything to the plot and it was long. I certainly felt it hit the mark in many places, but if it is for kids it has to be shorter and I don't think the humour of a Panto has enough for just adults.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Busy weekend...

I am still tired from the weekend. I did Midsummer in Spruce Grove on Friday and on Saturday Mark and I went out with friends for his birthday (dinner and karaoke). On Sunday I had rehearsal in the afternoon, dinner at the Next Act and Walterdale Board Meeting in the evening. Then I stopped at the folks house to feed Harriet and check the house and shovel the walk (cooooooold). I am over 40 now. The three late nights in a row are hard to handle.

Saturday, December 01, 2007

A Midwinter's trip to Midsummer...

Whew! The things I have to do to go out to see a friend in a play... Last night I went to A Midsummer Night's Dream in Spruce Grove put on by Horizon Players. The show started at 7:30 p.m. (What the? What ever happened to 8:00 starts?) but I had to start driving at 5:00 p.m. to get there on time. My sitter lives by Clareview so I left at 5 p.m. to get her, it was 6 p.m. by the time I got back to my house with the sitter and the kids. Then I headed off to pick up my friend Julie in Beaumaris. A couple of wrong turns meant that took me 20 minutes which was a bout 10 minutes longer than it should have (It was the one place I didn't mapquest! Doh!). Then we were off to get Wanda at the River Cree Casino in Enoch. Whoosh! Down 137th Avenue. Whoosh! Down Anthony Henday. Whoosh! Down the Whitemud? (I'm not sure I just went where Julie told me) Then we headed back up to the Yellowhead and off to the theatre. We rolled into the parking lot at about 7:20 p.m. We needn't have been stressed, the show didn't start until 7:45 due to latecomers. Really!

I was pleased overall with the show. Like most community shows you get a broad spectrum of skills and talents and you could see that, but the piece as a whole was complete and finished. Sure, there were things I didn't like, some of the actor's and director's choices were not the best, but at least choices were made. Everyone was giving their all. I was very pleased as well with my friend Anne Marie's performance. The director was wise to group people so that skill level was matched. However, what that did was make you wish for some story lines to come back and others to go away. What was clear with this production was that the actors were given room to be as good as they could be, so that the weaknesses of the show did not hold them back. Therefore, someone like my friend, could still have a meaningful theatre experience even though some of the other performers were not of the same calibre.

Oh, but a word... The audience etiquette was the worst I have seen in a theatre in I don't know how long. There were several people taking flash photography! What the?! There were people coming late (really late considering the show started 15 minutes late). There were people getting up and crossing in front of the stage during the show!!! With every flash I was taken out of the show. With every idiot standing up or talking to their friend I left the forest. I don't know if people realize the damage they do to a show and the insult they give to the actors onstage and the rest of the audience by doing these things. I could care less if you wear your hat or fall asleep or dress inappropriately, but don't screw around with the show by distracting me!

Friday, November 30, 2007

Tis the Season...

So tomorrow is December 1. That means that the tree will soon come out of the closet and I have to find the Advent calendar. I only have one. I know that some people get one for each of their kids, but I think it is important for them to learn to take turns. On the 25th, the pocket in the calendar is big enough for 2 candies so they each get one on that day. Once again I face this season with mixed feelings. The gift giving thing is fraught with peril. With some people I feel like I never get the right thing and that it one of my major issues. I am trying to "give it away", but I want to feel like the thought was appreciated. The other major gift issue I have is because I find the season so excessive especially with the kids stuff. I don't want my kids to feel deprived because they didn't get as much stuff as others, but they don't really need anything and some people give way too much to their kids. I shouldn't worry. My kids are pretty good about appreciating what they get. I know that no matter how restrained I think I am being, after the wrapping paper is disposed of, I will feel like it was all too much. So, what to do? I don't know.

I put lights up on our little tree in the front yard. I have always wanted outdoor lights on my house and for some reason Mark has been resistant to doing it. I couldn't handle getting on a ladder, but I bought a couple strings of lights and popped them up on the lilac tree. I also have indoor lights hanging in the front window so it feels festive to me. I don't really know why I want them, but the kids like them and so do I. Gibson actually gets distressed when they are not turned on - but I explained to him we turn them off in the daytime.

I also wrote my Christmas letter. Then I read a smarmy article in O magazine about those letters and I feel crappy about it. I don't write the letter to brag, but because I like to read what others are doing so I assume other people do too. Some things, particularly negative things, don't feel appropriate for those letters because they go in every envelope. What I might say to my best friend is quite different from what I would tell Mark's great-aunt. The letter has to be generic enough for everyone.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Parenting, who's doing it?

On Tuesday (Nov 27, 2007) I was pleased to see my letter to the editor was printed in the Journal. It was in response to the previous day's piece calling for publicly funded day-care. I bristled at the original article for two reasons.

1. The writer sounded so incredibly spoiled and she lamented that her father had promised her the she could "have it all" and she was terribly disappointed to discover as an adult that she couldn't, or else that she could but it would cost her a lot and be (gasp) hard work. I had a great deal of difficulty feeling any empathy for her since, for a lawyer with multiple degrees, she sure sounded like a spoiled little 8 year old who didn't get the pony she wanted. She took exactly the tone that I hate. I find so many people totally oblivious to what is involved with parenting a child. Her father obviously was, but he probably had no idea. She should have taken his promises with a grain of salt and then gone and spoken to her mother for the real deal. I find we have so many adults in our society who want everything done for them and who think that they should get everything they want. And they are raising their children the same way. Yikes!

2. The other problem I had was that she clearly felt that society only showed it valued children and mothers by providing publicly funded daycare. NO. It shows value for working moms or moms who want to use daycare, but not for any other mom out there and not necessarily for the children involved. Why should I pay for their childcare? Are they paying for mine? Only if I put my kids in daycare. Which I don't think is best for my kids or for most kids. My fear is that we will take away the choice for those who want to raise their children themselves. I also think it devalues and undermines stay-at-home parents because it does not encourage people to stay home. I think more people should be spending more time with their kids. I felt this as a teacher and I feel this as a mother.

I know that a lot of my argument comes from my personal situation. I know that. As a teacher I dealt with so many kids whose parents over-compensated with stuff and permissiveness because they didn't put the time required to properly parent. This didn't do their kids any favours. Those same parents were often unable or unwilling to do what was needed to really help their kid. Instead, they wanted me, the teacher, to fix the problem. They were paying me, right? Well, they were paying me to teach their children, not raise them. But, when your kids are in daycare from infancy and you have always passed parental responsibility onto someone else I guess you think that's what a teacher is. The last year I taught I had so many moments where I literally thought "I could be at home with my own child, instead of dealing with someone elses" mostly because of frustrations I would feel from dealing with idiotic parents. This made me realize that there are severe flaws to the way so many people send their kids out to be raised by someone else. It also made me realize that I wasn't going to be one of those parents who didn't do the job myself.

I don't have a solution. And I don't think that all working parents are bad parents. Many are wonderful, engaged parents who do the work required and who rise to the challenge of juggling parenting and work. And I know some stay-at-home parents who are not the best at it and whose children might have been better served by being out of the home. I just know it isn't as simple as pouring a lot of money into providing child care to a select group of people just because they want it. What I'd like? Well, I don't think children under 5 should be in full-day mass child care. I look at my 3 year old and know the institutionalized care of day-care is too impersonal for him to be there for a full day. There is a good reason why Kindergarten is half day. I know there are a lot of people who want full-day Kindergarten, but the "results" of that are only shown to be beneficial for lower-income high-risk groups. There is no benefit to the average or above-average income low-risk child. Day homes and nannies are a compromise, but I really think part-time daycare or shared parenting is a better choice for your children. I want to support choice, but I want people to make the choice not just for themselves but for their children as well, and I want more options than just mass daycare to be considered valid and important.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Bouncing Back

Today I felt so much better. I think the marathon sleep on Saturday night and the really good sleep last night helped. So I cleaned my kitchen. That felt good. And I made a big casserole type meal that can be frozen for future days when I don't feel like making anything. That felt good. I also went to Safeway, in the snow - brrr, and stocked up on things but avoided impulse 'bad food'. That felt good. Oliver got 10 stickers in school today (the max is 4 - so it must have been an awesome day). That felt really good. Especially to see his face when he counted them. He was just delighted. I worked a little on my novel, which is over the 50,000 word hurdle but now needs to be finished. That felt good. I will do more on that later tonight. I also wrote and sent in a letter to the Journal in response to the editorial on daycare. That felt good. I know not everyone may share my opinions on this, but it rubs me the wrong way for someone to say they are arguing for everyone to have daycare when it is really because they want it. Why punish those who don't have their kids in daycare by making them pay for you putting yours in (via taxes)? It's not fair if it's only fair for one group of people, no matter how hard you argue. Oh well, don't get me started... Let's end on a good note. It is good not to feel like crap anymore.

Friday, November 23, 2007

A funny way to diet...

This week I stopped eating meals and it worked. Don't be alarmed. I am still eating, but I have always had trouble controlling my snacking. That is my major problem with eating. So I would snack and then have my breakfast, lunch and dinner and when you combined all the food it was way too much. In the past I would try to stop the snacking and I would invariably fail to do that well. So, this week I did my snacking (trying to keep it fairly nutritious) and just didn't have the meals. I stayed within my points for the day and I am optimistic about tomorrow's weigh-in. Cross your fingers.

Friday, November 16, 2007

A Little Radio Play...

I went to see/hear/participate in Fulcrum of Evil at Walterdale Theatre tonight. Usually Walterdale does not rent to anyone other than the ADFA and Fringe, but CBC Radio was looking for a place to tape a Radio Play written by Marty Chan and they wanted an audience for reaction, etc... So anyhow, Walterdale made a special arrangement. It was a lot of fun. My mom looked after the boys, so Mark and I both got to go and I was quite glad that I bought tickets today during the afternoon, because there was a waiting list to get in. Jam packed it was! The highlight was definitely Jeff Haslam as Faz Rool (sic). He was tres hilaire! I have read a lot about him in the Journal but this was the first time I had actually seen (and heard) him on stage. He was channelling Jack Benny and I quite enjoyed it. I also got to see Davina Stewart and Mark Meer and I had never seen them before. They are worth the hype they get. Script, hmmm? It was good, but the actors made it better than it was. It was a cool little night out and I was glad that I got to see/hear it.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

I Organize my Life but,...

There's still never enough time. Sometimes I leave extra space in the day and then things happen that suck up that time. Sometimes those things are controlled by me (Scrabulous, games, writing) and sometimes they are dictated by others (errands, Gibson, store related things). Just cross your fingers that tonight I will be able to cross some things off my list. I think I can, I think I can...

Monday, November 05, 2007

Hotel Room Euphoria...

I had a lovely weekend in Calgary. The conference was great and I so enjoyed the hotel life. I pampered myself a bit, but for me the sleep in itself was pampering. Room service breakfast and movie rentals and slowing down. It was lovely. Just the little things like putting moisturizer on my legs without the cat pestering me (she like the taste of moisturizer and will lick my ankles with her annoying sandpaper tongue - HATE it!). I also got to see Wanda's house and we had a great evening venting (we shared many vent-topics). It was all good!

Sunday, October 28, 2007

Feeling Better...

I am down a total of 24 lbs on the WW scale. I know, I know, I was down 25 before but that was before the summer and we are now back on track. I am down 30 on the home scale and occasionally I drop down to 32 lbs lost on a good morning. The good thing is that the weigh-ins are back to moving in the right direction.

This week I pledge to get back to the YMCA for workouts. Feeling sick all last week kind of derailed me. I will also get on the treadmill. My goal is at least 3 workouts between now and Friday. I am away on the weekend so I will have to figure out something else for that.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


This Saturday I had a wonderful time celebrating turning 40! Special thanks go out to the Annemarie and Anne Marie who helped with the pre-party warm-up and a variety of other prep activities. Also, props to Mark for his karaoke skills and the flowers and all that. It was great. It was so much fun to see those who came out and sing, and dance and eat together. I wish that I had stepped in a little earlier so that the invites would've gotten out in time for some people to "save the date" but as it was I was not disappointed. I had a nice mix of "long time Fort McMurray friends" and "new Edmonton Friends" and of course, since I know so many musical theatre folks there was a lot of good singing and lots of people willing to take risks just to have fun!

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Another Week...

I had a relatively busy week. I have done some work on Crimes of the Heart. I met with my Assistant Director and more audition requests have trickled in. I hope I don't have too many "drop ins" because most of the early slots have 5 people in them already and it screws with your time to accommodate an extra person. That's not fair to those who did it the right way.

Challenges for Oliver in school again. All three incidents have been with the same boy. From the descriptions of the events I think the other kid verbally instigates the fight and then because Oliver has trouble managing his anger he hits when he can't solve it with words. Oliver is quite honest in his re-telling and he doesn't come out looking like an angel so I have a little bit of faith in this. The problem is, because Oliver hits first he gets the more severe punishment. It doesn't seem like anything is being done with the other kid and I can't really ask because I should just worry about my own child. I have expressed concern that it always seems to be the same kid. If another incident happens and its the same kid I will push for a stronger intervention. With Oliver being at least half a head taller than most of the kids in his class I worry someone is going to get hurt. Also, because he perceives the other kid is lying in the re-telling of events he is starting to think that if you don't want to get in trouble you just lie.

Back to the gym this week for Drop-In Classes at the YMCA. I can feel my obliques. I am hoping to get there 3 days this week. Gib still fusses at babysitting but I know he is doing it to see if he can make me stay - not because he is really upset. Something weird at the Friday session. The instructor gave out "prizes" to 2 people who she felt really gave it their all. I didn't like this. Partly because I was going as hard as I could but my fitness level is not the same as many of the others in the group and partly because I was in the same "section" as one of the winners and she stopped doing the circuit at the '5 seconds left' count every single time. I went to 1 so I know. It is hard enough for me to go when I know I have to make adjustments due to my fitness level and I feel like a loser for that, but then to add a competitive thing on top of that it just makes me go back to grade 10 gym class all over again. Hmmm. Maybe I'd fell differently if I'd won.

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Milestones and Millstones

Today I am forty. I like it. I have been thinking about this birthday for most of the year and since I've had slightly over 9 months to think it has more weight than any of the birthdays I have had in recent years. I think it is exciting for me to be 40 because I don't look 40 (I don't think everyone is lying) and because I can say that I have done significant things in my life so that I feel this "milestone" has merit beyond just the counting of days and years. Over the years I have set goals for myself and reached them, or not, but I still reached for them. Things like having children (a challenging goal for me to achieve), getting lead roles on stage (so much fun and therapy all rolled up together), writing a play and having it produced (butterflies!), and many other things are the accomplishments I cherish.

My major goal this year was about weight loss. On January 1, 2007 I weighed myself and made a goal. My vow was to lose 40 lbs by my birthday (today). This was achievable, yet a big enough project that it would require a lot of work. I fell short. I have only lost 30 lbs, however, it is not a millstone worn around my neck. Failing to reach the goal was not a true failure. How can I be sad about losing 30 lbs? I can't. The thing is, it I had not made the goal, I would not have lost what I did. I would have been at least 20 lbs heavier. I guarantee that. The goal made me work harder than I would have without it. The goal made me get up and go to Weight Watchers. The goal got me to the YMCA and the Treadmill. So I will continue to set goals. And I will set goals that will challenge me, ones that aren't easy to accomplish.

My goal today. For the immediate, I want to celebrate this day and this year. I have been blessed with lots of Facebook greetings, many kisses from my boys, and a promised kidnapping tonight. For the long term? I want to be down another 20 lbs by New Years. That will be 50 lbs this year. That will be work since Halloween and Christmas and snowfalls are in the next three months. it is what I shall reach for.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

The Big 4-0

In less than a week I will be 40. I am not weirded out by the milestone but I do want it to be celebrated. I want a party. Not necessarily a blow-out drunken bash. That would be strange for me. But I want to celebrate and I don't want some half-ass thing. I heard there's an 80s Retro club called Vinyl downtown. Maybe they have a private room where we could have finger foods and stuff like that? Maybe a private room in a fancy-schmancy restaurant and all my friends could come? I don't know. I can tell you it won't be on the date since that's Thanksgiving weekend, but something MUST happen. I will plan it myself if I must!

Stay Tuned...

Monday, October 01, 2007

As I prepare for the next thing...

I have added a Blog for Crimes of the Heart. I want to keep everything in it's place. It should be interesting to look back afterwards.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Busy World is Hushed...

On Saturday night, my friend AM and I went to see The Busy World is Hushed at Northern Lights Theatre. Last year I bid on seasons' tickets at Walterdale's Silent Auction and I got them. It is part of my mission to check out different theatre companies in Edmonton since I have been less than thrilled with the quality per dollar value at the Citadel. I figured that if I had season's tickets I would be "forced" to go and that would also get me to the some of the shows I read about in the paper. About the show... I found the script very interesting and really enjoyed the discussions about religion. I was less interested in the relationship between the Minister's son and the young writer but I am not sure if that was a fault of the script or the fact that I thought the actor who played the son was miscast and out of his depth in the role. He was unconvincing and I couldn't see the attraction for him. Trevor Schmidt, who played the writer, did all the emotional work in this show. I liked the general quality of the Minister, Hannah (sorry I have forgotten the other two actor's real names) but she also failed to raise the emotional stakes when it was needed. She was excellent with the religious discussion, but I never believed her as the mother of that son. Part of the problem with the show was acting and part was directing. The use of this sound scape was WRONG WRONG WRONG and served only to slow any momentum done. BAD CHOICE, Mr. Director!

Anyhow, It seems that I have torn the show apart. I didn't mean to do that. Trevor Schmidt was very, very good. He was heart-breakingly emotionally committed to the show and his character. The religious discussions alone are worth seeing this show over. Some of the dialogue is stilted but that's the writing. I enjoyed it and am interested in what will come next.

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Mindless Diversion - stolen from Magnolia...

1. Pick out a scar you have, and explain how you got it? When I was little (less than 5) a neighborhood cat did not take kindly to the affection I was trying to show it. She scratched me right above my upper lip. I have an inch long scar under my nose there.
2. What does your phone look like? I just got a new red LG cell phone. It takes pictures. My home phones are varied - 3 cordless black ones, 1 silver "officey" looking phone, and a cordless white phone. We have kids and we need phones all over the house because Mark set it on 3 rings before the answering machine picks up.
3. What is on the walls of your bedroom? The walls are blue. There are 2 prints of flowers in bright colours, a collage of Monet postcards, and a print of the Split Rock Lighthouse from Minnesota near where I was born and the family homestead is.
4. What is your current desktop picture? My screen picture is my two boys in bed with big smiles. They have obviously just had a bath because they have wet hair.
5. Do you believe in gay marriage? Yes, but I don't believe in gay divorce.
6. What do you want more than anything right now? Time.
7. What time were you born? Almost 40 years ago at about 2 A.M.
8. Are your parents still together?Yes.
9. Last person who made you cry? Oliver.
10. What is your favorite perfume/cologne? I like to wear White Diamonds, but now it reminds me of a different time of my life. I was thinking the other day I needed to find a new one, but I so rarely wear perfume it doesn't occur to me to look.
11. What kind of hair/eye color do you like in the opposite sex? A view of the past and present suggests blue/dark.
12. What are you listening to? The music from Annie (don't ask). The Bounce (it's what's on in the car).
13. Do you get scared of the dark? No.
14. Do you like pain killers? I will take Ibuprofen and Tylenol, but codeine makes me wiggy and the stuff the dentist gave me for my abscess made me bitchy and constipated (perhaps they were related).
15. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Well, it's a good thing I am not, because I probably wouldn't be married to Mark otherwise.
16. If you could eat anything right now, what would it be? World Class Chocolate ice cream.
17. Who was the last person you made mad? Oliver. He told me he was so mad he was going to run away from home.
18. Is anyone in love with you? I'd like to think so.

Fitness is frustrating...

So, this Fall I committed to working out. Oliver is in school full days and it is much easier to leave one child in babysitting plus Gibson is usually pretty easy going about those things. As well, with Oliver in full days I didn't have to worry about being home for the bus and all that. No excuses. So I have been booking Gibson in for babysitting 3X a week and I go to a drop in class at the YMCA. I also try to use the Treadmill at home on my "days off". I feel stronger, however, I am gaining weight! I don't think I am eating more. I have also started a "don't eat after 8:15 p.m." rule which has cut out a lot of extra calories. I have to believe it is muscle because it is annoying! The other annoying thing is that Gibson has started being really fussy about going to babysitting. I know he is doing it to see what he can control, but my "easy" kid is starting to get challenging and I don't need that! Arghhhh!

Monday, September 17, 2007

My Daemon

Parenting Approval Ratings...

Last night, despite having a really good day, Oliver had a MAJOR MELTDOWN at bedtime. I have no idea why. He was refusing to go to bed, and he wanted a bath, but it was too late, so that was an issue and then when we decided to help him get into his PJs he freaked out more... We tried the cajoling to diffuse the situation, to no avail. Anyhow, after 45 minutes of struggling with him he decided that he was going to have to "run away from home" so he could find some "new owners to look after him". When asked what was wrong with his current Mommy and Daddy he replied that "we didn't do everything he told us to do". Anyhow, I tried for another 15 minutes to get him to bed and finally he said he was leaving. So we let him "run away". Bear in mind he was wearing only pj bottoms and shoes. We asked if he would like a coat or anything and he said he was fine. He left out the front door and 30 seconds later he knocked on the door and asked to come back in. Then he went to bed.

This morning he said sorry for being so mad last night. I think he plans to stay for awhile.

By the way - I kind of blame the Foote Theatre School for the "running away". They are learning "Hard Knock Life" in his class so I pulled out the movie Annie and he was quite enamoured of it. He liked the way Annie "ran away" all the time.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Those Back to School Germs...

Gibson is sick, again. I am hoping that as he gets older, his immune system will toughen up a bit. Went to the Medi-centre, one hour+ wait, prescription for Ventolin, but no anti-biotic this time. We were told to come back if he doesn't' get better but that it was most likely a virus. Knowing Gibson's "history", I am putting 3-1 odds on us going back by the end of the week. I hope I am wrong.

Last night I did the "Test the Nation - Language" test that was on CBC. I got 58/70 which wasn't too bad. There were a few of the ones that I could narrow down to 2 and then I picked the wrong choice and there was 1 answer I continue to disagree with. I also got some word origin and regional answers wrong. Most of the ones I got wrong were ones I was unsure of. It was fun to do and I know I beat the average! Mark and I did the IQ test when that was on. Is there anyone else out there who likes to sit and watch TV and take silly tests? Maybe we're just geeks!

Friday, September 07, 2007

I can feel my Abs...

...when I stand up from sitting. I went to Cardio Kick-Start again today. Different instructor. I don't always like everything in the class, but maybe I'm not supposed to. I'm moving my muscles, that's what counts.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Back on the Treadmill...

So to speak. I re-committed to working out. I know, I know. I do that a lot, but I think of every week as a new week and since September is traditionally a time for 'starting anew' for me I booked Gibson in to the YMCA babysitting and went to the Cardio Kick Start class this morning. I have also booked him in for Friday, Monday and Wednesday so I am committed. I find I have to do that - book in ahead of time - or I don't go. It is harder to not go when you know you will be charged for the babysitting if you don't cancel soon enough. I am watching my ankle because of the recent sprain. It's a little achy and I avoided the stairs, just in case, but it held up okay. I will see how it feels tomorrow morning. I have a feeling I will feel my butt tomorrow because of all the squats we did.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Rites of Passage...

Today Oliver started grade one. Full days, lunch at school, homework... It all begins today. I am actually a pretty relaxed Mom about this major life step. I think because I was a teacher I don't see school as something scary and I have tried hard to create enthusiasm for school within Oliver (and Gibson too). I think he was more puzzled by the fact that he didn't see all of his classmates from last year since they obviously shuffled the AM and PM Kindergarten classes. There were a few and Caelen was in his class so that was good. He also got the male teacher so I am hoping that helps to curtail his silliness a bit. He's a pretty good kid. Not shy. Not scared to try new things (except Chinese food - or "china food"). Academically I am not concerned and I really like the school. It feels like a good year has started.

Gibson will also have a "first" today. He will go to My First Pre-School at the YMCA today. He is pretty excited. He wanted to stay at the school with Oliver but I had to remove him and tell him his school would start later.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Just Thought I'd Mention...

About a month ago I started a blog to track my reading. If you like to see what others are reading check it out. It is on my links list as "What I am Reading".

Monday, August 27, 2007

Fringe Experience

Well, the Fringe is over. It was definitely worth doing but it was a totally different energy from any other shwo I have done. I did close the run out with a sprained ankle (just for fun!) so that affected my last show. I actually think it was one of my best of the run so I am thankful for Ibuprofen and Adrenalin for keeping the pain down while I was onstage. All this talk of juried shows and the "professional" vs. "amateur" debate that I have been reading continues to swirl in my mind. I am concerned for a change that might be made that wouldn't take into account everyone's perspective. It's the Libra in me. If a change is made I want it to be fair. Besides, when I went through the Fringe program I saw plenty of "professional" names. They want it to be more fair --> maybe Trevor Schmidt shouldn't have 3 shows in. Don't bounce someone with one show when there were people with 2 or 3 in there. Why couldn't he step aside for One Yellow Rabbit or Teatro de la Quindicina? Why is it the new/amateur companies who are willing to take their own financial risk to try to make Art that are being asked to step aside? And what is my action? Do I boycott the pro-shows? Do I continue to write letters that don't get published? I just want the Fringe to continue to have something for everyone (both audience and performers).

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My 100th Post!

Just thought I'd mention it was #100.

Anyhow, I made it through my show last night despite making up a complete verse to a song. Apparently it made sense and rhymed and was in tune. I have no idea what I said, but I am glad I made it through to the next section of the song.

I think I was nervous because I had lots of "peeps" in the house. I am always far more nervous in front of friends as opposed to strangers. Strangers - you never see them again, Friends - now they know what you can and cannot do. It all went well and they seemed to enjoy the show.

I am not sure if it was our best show - Saturday was MY best so far - I think the Review was hanging over our heads. We worked it though and did the job. That's all you can do.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

More Reviews - this time a mention

We got 3* in the Journal today. It is the 'inconsistency' of the show that holds our rating down. I , however, did get a mention:

"Kristen Finlay wails out powerful solos as the homely, trashy Katalina,.."

Not a bad mention for me. I am hoping some of the people singled out as "weak" don't let it crush them. You do what you can. It is always hard to find enough strong males to round out your cast. The guys certainly got the brunt of that review.

Monday, August 20, 2007

Middle of the Road?

Okay, we got 2 1/2 Suns from Colin McLean. Hmmm. Oh well. So far the audiences have enjoyed themselves. I know the show has weaknesses, and he was at our opening so what can you do? We have enjoyed nice big houses and I have heard lots of positive feedback from complete strangers (and friends too) so I think it's all good.

I hope that the rest of the cast is still feeling okay about it. He did say it was still worth going to so hopefully people won't be scared away.

Saturday, August 18, 2007


Two shows down and four to go! We are on our way and the audiences seem to be enjoying themselves. No reviews yet, but it's still early. With only 4 musicals in the Fringe I think we will do okay. They seem to like me so I am having fun.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Cranky Kid = Cranky Mom

Any of you out there who are parents know this to be true. I think even if you don't have kids you can probably figure out the logical connection. I am a little cranky because Gibson is being a cranky little gus lately. I don't know why, but it is really getting on my nerves. Yesterday and today he freaked out at the park because his stick (an item picked up at random from the ground) was broken. I started calling him ostrich-boy because he literally was sticking his face in the sand having a big ol' tantrum. I don't know. If you are 2 3/4 and you can't have fun at the playground --> there's a problem. I hope the dark cloud passes soon.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Tech Rehearsal - we have a show...

This last week I have been very stressed about the show. Tuesday and Thursday were not good runs for me and I was feeling panicky and generally not ready, however, yesterday was FABULOUS! Maybe it was the costumes and makeup. Maybe it was having the set (nice set!). Maybe it was my conscious effort to go to rehearsal with a VERY VERY POSITIVE attitude. Whatever it was, it worked. The afternoon run was so good! We have a show! Then in the evening when we went to the venue (Westbury) for our Tech Rehearsal we did another run and it was great, too!

On a mixed note, I did lose a duet and part of a solo. Unfortunately Fringe shows are guided by strict time lines and we had to shave about 5 minutes off the show. The duet I was not so sad about, the recit from my solo was a little harder to take, but I was determined NOT to lose more. If we didn't get the time down I would have lot the whole solo, so I told everyone to pick up their entrances so I wouldn't lose it. We luckily did well for time and my solo was saved. It is hard to work so hard and lose stuff due to time, but that is the nature of the Fringe.

Friday, August 03, 2007

Getting Ready for the Show...

We have come to the point that I really enjoy in rehearsal. We are into runs. We ran Act One on Tuesday and Act Two on Thursday. Finally we get a real sense of the shape of the show. It was great to see all the pieces that were worked on when we weren't there. Now we can review and run and fix and clean and get even better. The show is in good shape. It does need work, but we should have time for at least 5 runs before we open (not counting the Tech rehearsal in the venue). We should also have time for cleaning in addition to the 5 runs. I am happy with the level of challenge that I have experienced in the show. It is definitely out of my comfort zone so it was good to attack it and (hopefully) rise to the challenge.

So,.... Come see El Muchacho, at the Fringe, August 2007. Show dates are posted on this blog. tickets are now available online through Fringe Theatre Adventures.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Guilt Sucks

The other day I had my first "green guilt". I was explaining the wonderfulness of the key less entry on one of our vehicles to another Mom at soccer (she had just received a call from her husband who had locked the keys in their van and she was going to have to rescue him as soon as soccer was done). She asked what kind of vehicle it was and I found I was embarrassed (?) to tell her it was a Ford Expedition. I have never felt that way before. We have perfectly legitimate reasons for owning it, primarily due to Mark's height, but I had this moment of "ohmigod, what if she's against SUVs?" and I was reluctant to admit it.

Very strange. Hmmm....

I also felt guilty at the Walterdale Board meeting tonight because I didn't make the clean up this week. I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't my fault that I couldn't make it and that one more thing would have killed me this week, but I still felt the guilt. I actively refrained from apologizing, because I couldn't do it. I just couldn't. We have to find a way to get other people to pick up the slack. People want the theatre to be there for when they want to do a show and be on stage, but they don't realize the ongoing maintenance required when you have your own building. Apparently the last show was not the neatest when they left and that added to the frustrations of the few volunteers who came out. But I have to NOT feeling guilty (although I do) because I can't do everything.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Dinner with friends...

Thursday night I was fortunate enough to be able to go out with my two best pals. W was up from Calgary and AM came in from Stony and I didn't need to be at rehearsal so we met for a marathon dinner at the Blue Plate Diner (6:00 - 10:00 p.m.). The waiter left before us (ha ha). I have been friends with these 2 for a long time. We met through..... Keyano, of course, but mutual interests, babies, and the freedom to be who we really are with each has strengthened the friendship. I love this friendship, because it is definitely a 3 friend thing, with no one being left out, and yet and I still friends with each of them individually. As Martha would say, "It's a good thing." (yes, girls, those "quotes" are for you). I am also glad because we are all working on keeping the connection despite the fact that all three of us have moved to new places in the last 2 years. Distance and time are hard to overcome, but I thank Facebook and email and the phone and the fact that W's Dad lives in Edmonton and AM will drive in for theatre. It's all good.

Friday, July 20, 2007

Shakespeare set to music...

Went to see Two Gentlemen of Verona tonight. I enjoyed it, although I was very forgiving due to the fact that there were challenges with the whole thing. The sound was an issue. It was better in Act 2, but never perfect. Basically the balance was totally wrong whenever it was a female solo or an ensemble number. The band was TOO LOUD! Other than that the only other major issue I had was that you could tell the "ensemble" was not usually in musicals. They worked hard, but the sopranos were weak (too much alto) and there was just a gap between their skill in the musical form compared to the leads. The songs were fun and we (my friends Vero, Richie and I) debated the balance between Shakespeare and Musical. We felt there should have been more "Musical" less "Shakespeare" to really make it work. Some outstanding work by Chris Bullough, Kevin Corey, Natasha N., and Sheldon Elter. The other female lead had the skills, but not the subtlety to be as good as these four. Funny, funny, funny was Ron Pederson. Oh, and Troy and Julian seemed so out of place in a musical.

Oh! And I noticed, because it was obvious. Not one of the women was overweight or out of shape, but a 1/3 of the men were in less than prime condition. What's that about? Even the "slim" men had odd body shapes, while ALL of the women were slim with nice figures. Double standard! I saw it. It was there (how could you miss it when the women's ensemble were in hot pants!?!).

Monday, July 16, 2007

How Do You Keep It Up?

Finding it very hard to count points this week and last. Was up this past weigh in and the heat has produced this incredible emotional inertia. I know I need to write it down, but I am tired of it. I need some renewal. I need some reward. It is so exhausting to do the work some days.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Getting Ready for Fringe...

I am in a Fringe Show. It is called El Muchacho and it will be playing in the Westbury theatre in the Arts Barns (that's the BIG one - yay!). We have been rehearsing since the beginning of June and it is rolling along. It is fun to be in a show and this is agood time of year for me. I am enjoying the challenge of the music and have been tickled to receive compliments from the cast on what I have done. I do recognize I have a ways to go in the interpretation of the music, but I am on my way. I am excited though, to be in a Fringe show for a number of reasons:

1. I have never done one before. I have volunteered and participated as an audience member at the Fringe and I have always liked the atmosphere there. I have also done Interplay in Fort McMurray and although it is not the long haul of the Fringe, you could easily do 5 shows in 3 days (we will be doing 6 shows in 10 days). In any case, this is something new. I look forward to my "performer" name badge and all that will come my way with it!

2. I like the option of doing theatre in the summer. The winter is busy with school and other obligations and driving in the snow and ice. The summer is hot and it is light outside when I leave the rehearsal space at 10:30 p.m. It also gives focus to the summer which I often lack. Good for me to have a project!

3. This is the important one: The Fringe seems to be a level playing field for productions. Everyone gets reviewed. It doesn't matter if you are professional or community or whatever - Fringe is Fringe. I like that. I have to stop apologizing for not being a "professional". The work is the work and being in a Fringe show demonstrates that. If I do my work, it will show. If I don't --> that too will show on stage! It won't matter that I don't have a BFA or I'm not getting paid. In this town there is so much theatre that the divisions during the "regular season" are very evident. I am sick of sensing that my work is disregarded because of where I choose to do it. I work hard, and that is what should count.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Summer Dazed

Been going to the playground with the kids for the last little while. Oliver has been in City Playground Camps (Soccer, Super Tots and Short Sports) so Gibson and I have mostly hung out at the nearby playgrounds or investigated air-conditioned malls when necessary. One of the boys from Oliver's Kindergarten class is in his soccer camp so they have been having a great time while I visited with the other mom. Tonight we tired a movie but interruptions including a call for help from my brother regarding baby-sitting, an "accident" a la Gibson and Oliver being "scared" of the movie have precipitated an early retreat. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted?

Friday, July 06, 2007

Weigh In Wonderful!

Today I had a great weigh in. I hit two milestones simultaneously. I got my 25 lb token and my 10% key chain. I lost 5.2 lbs this week - thanks tonsillitis!

Now if only we had a good facilitator! I am sick of this leader who obviously has never been "fat" in her life (her lifetime loss was 12 lbs so maybe she wore a size 6 once). She says things that suggest that "fat" people are somehow not as good as "slim" people. I always feel like she is one of those people who judges people based on how they look. She was going on about how in some families everyone is fat and how people blamed genetics but that studies have shown that genetics have nothing to do with it and anyone could be slim if they just worked at it - suggesting that fat people don't do as much work in their life as slim people. It's a lot harder to lose it than it is to gain it and although I do believe that everyone can lose weight if they do certain things, it is also way harder for those who have a more severe weight problem. Inertia is a terrible thing to overcome. I am not worried about me - but her message is somewhat destructive in my mind. I don't even think she gets it. She should be a cheerleader with good suggestions and no judgement, but she certainly doesn't come across that way. I have had too many of these facilitators who have never really struggled with weight. How can they understand someone who comes in with a real weight issues? I don't think they can.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Little Microscopic Bugs...

You gotta hate germs. I do. I know they are a fact of life and all that, but when they crawl into your system for a weekend they can really mess you up. I started feeling a little out of it on Friday night. I thought it might have just been a bit of vocal strain from working on my stuff for El Muchacho, but when I woke up on Saturday I knew I was SICK. Sore throat, headache, achy body, and a general feeling of being "out of it". The worst is not having the opportunity to really get better. WHY? Because it was the long weekend and we were heading off Saturday afternoon to a family reunion for Mark's side of the family. He offered to let me stay home and he would take the boys alone, but I said I would dope myself up and cope. I didn't think it fair to have him set off alone. Anyhow, I endured a regimen of Tylenol and Ibuprofen and I napped when i could and it was all survivable. I felt guilty because I couldn't really mingle much because I wasn't completely present. I am still not better and this bugs me because today I have slept so much and it is not gone. Mark is going to go tot he store to work and he has promised me drugs to make me better. I am hoping this is curable with OTC medication because otherwise I am going to a medicentre tomorrow with Gibson in tow (oh joy!).

Thursday, June 28, 2007

I'm sore. but that's a good thing... means I worked hard right? I went back today for Step and Core and the boys had a great time at the babysitting. They had a lot of kids so they moved half up to the racquetball court and when I went to get them about half the kids were doing laps around the track. One of mine was leading the pack and the other was bringing up the rear. Gibson was so proud of himself to be doing "extherthise". I was a bit sore this morning but I pushed through it. I like doing the classes because I can't just quit in the middle like I can do at home with a tape. Too embarrassing! I also like that I feel sore because it tells me I am working different muscles. I am never sore after the Treadmill, even if I go for an hour and a half. My leg muscles are used to that motion. I am planning next week and I will try to go 3X.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Morning at the YMCA...

Yesterday I finally did what I had intended to do for months. I called the YMCA and booked my kids in for babysitting during a time when a drop-in class was offered (Circuit Challenge). So this morning we headed off at 8:45 to drop them off for 9:00 a.m. at babysitting. I was a littler early for the class and went up on the treadmills for 10 minutes before it started. What a class! It was a nice mix of cardio and resistance and she kept us working. I think my knees might hurt a bit tomorrow, but I was so glad I went. I signed the boys up for babysitting again tomorrow and I will go at the same time for Step and Core. THEN, if I am still moving I will sign them up for Friday and do the Circuit Challenge class again. I have to commit to this and the boys had a great time in the babysitting room so that was cool, and it was pretty cheap ($7.50 for the two boys for 1.5 hours - half of what I pay my regular sitter). I know that some weeks it won't work with Oliver's summer programs, but for the weeks it will work I am going to try and do it. If I get in the habit now it will be so nice in the Fall when I only have to put Gibson in because Oliver will be in full days.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

A fun time was had by all...

Last night we had a babysitter booked and we went out to a party at a friend's house. It was so very nice. There were a lot of people from the theatre scene there. I knew about half and was familiar with most of the others. It was nice to feel at home in Edmonton, as it reminded me of the parties we would go to in McMurray. Lots of food, talking, laughing and just feeling comfortable. I didn't feel like the "newcomer" so I figure I am home now.

Friday, June 22, 2007

WW Report

Oh yeah. Down 0.8 lbs this week for a grand total of 21.2 lbs! Yay! That's with a very food-filled weekend in there. Very happy.

The Evidence...

Pencil drawing by Gibson
June 22, 2007
"Portrait of Auntie Annie"

My Child, the Artistic Genius....

Okay, this is a second child I am talking about, so I am not in that happy delirious haze of first time parenthood. Had to get that out of the way first. My child, Gibson, is an artistic genius. Maybe it is too soon to tell, but if you can't brag about your children on your blog, where can you? But get this, he sings, in tune, all the time. Now, his favorite songs are "Stupid Girls" (Pink) and "Upside Down" (Jack Johnson - Curious George Soundtrack), but still, - in tune! Why is that so amazing? Well, for me it is because he is 2 years and 8 months old. The reaction of the teacher at Kindermusik has confirmed for me that Gibson's vocal skills are unusual. Most of the children his age listen to the music and dance a bit, but very rarely do they actually sing along and extremely rarely are they ever in tune. He can also tap out beats correctly and in tempo - most kids his age just bang away randomly.

So that's his musical genius - but get this - today he drew some amazing pictures for his age. Today he drew faces, with correctly placed eyes, noses, ears, mouths and hair. I know that is unusual for his age. His older brother (almost 6) doesn't even consistently do that when he draws. Get ready Auntie Annie for your first portrait a la Gibson --> it's a beauty!

So will I become a psycho stage parent? Pushing him to develop. Vocal lessons at age 3, shoving gouache and water colours into his hands at age 4? I hope not. But I think it is cool and if he likes singing and drawing I will provide that outlet, after all I like to do those things too.

Now, if I can only get through potty training!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

No Man is an Island, but it's so much easier when we pretend to be...

Despite my intention to "live purposefully and without regrets" I find myself wondering about my purpose and regretting an attempt to be understood. Today I tried to let someone in on some stuff that had been bothering me for quite awhile (the stuff bothering me was not with that person but with another person we are both close to). Unfortunately for all involved I did it by email (I advise against this) and I ended up not only failing to achieve my purpose, but I also hurt them, which was not my intention.

Thus I now have regrets. I have "I feel sick to my stomach" regrets. I am not sure how to deal with this. Do we keep everything to ourselves and create our own personal island? I am not sure. I guess we could talk an objective outsider, but that doesn't offer any solutions other than venting. I have no interest in having an "outsider" understand me better. I do want the people in my life to understand me better and to understand why I act certain ways in certain situations. So if you can't reach out to them to say "this is me, these experiences changed and shaped me and continue to affect how I view and interact with the world; you know me, I need you to know me better" - If you can't tell them without hurting them too, what can you do?

I don't want to hurt people, but I don't want to live in a superficial world where I pretend everything is okay when it isn't.

I don't know.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Back on track...

Today I have been running around like crazy, but I managed to stop in for weigh in. I am happy to report that I am down another 2 lbs for a grand total of 20.4 lbs! It feels great to crack the 20 lb barrier. I am feeling better and the sunny days are exciting because they are so much easier to face! I do need to get to the grocery store for more fruits and veggies. I will also have to watch it this weekend because it is a big family weekend with a BBQ or two and a couple of birthday celebrations. No backsliding!

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Getting Over it...

Things happen to us. People do things to us. We live it and then it should just be done, but how come it isn't? A few years back I worked with someone who made my work-life very unpleasant. There was a whole job-sharing thing there and perhaps neither of us communicated the best during the transition, but I had thought that the strength of our friendship would make the situation a good thing. I didn't really know who I was dealing with. She was amazing as a friend so long as she was treated as the queen of her world. Once threatened (which was not my intention) she became the Queen of all Queens (think Snow White's Step-Mother). I tried to make it work. I tried to be optimistic. Some months were better than others, but just when I thought things would be alright there would be a little dig, or a big dig, or something to undermine me. Some comments were made in the staffroom (I heard about this from friends on staff), comments were made in staff meetings (once the Admin "made" her apologize) most, however, were done when we were the only two people in the room. I only spoke of the situation to a very small group of people that I trusted. We were teachers so there were professional ethics considerations and I did not want parents and students to know of the dysfunction. I also didn't want to put mutual friends in the position of "having to choose".

What do I wish happened differently? I wish I had stood up to her and called her on the persistent bullying. I wish more of my friends had seen the "real" person she was. I wish that I could have gone to work without dreading it. She was the perfect bully - being almost nice and sociable for a little while and then BAM! out came an attack. The ironic thing was she often did drama presentations against bullying with her classes (kettle, meet pot).

It's been 2 years since I moved, almost 3 since I worked with her. How come I still get sick to my stomach when I see a picture of her (blame Facebook and mutual friends)? I want to feel nothing when it comes to her.

Monday, June 04, 2007

Juggling Life

I have so many balls in the air right now. It is all planned out and working, but there is little down-time. I wonder how I can do this sometimes. I go from one event or activity to the next with little time to breathe in between. I make it happen. I complain sometimes, but I don't do a lot to change the overall structure of my life. I think, for me, I don't reduce the number of activities because some of them are not my activities by choice. I have to do them. I have to get Oliver off the bus. I have to feed the kids. I have to deposit my cheque in the bank and pay my bills. When you add in laundry and cleaning and all that stuff you could easily fill a day. I need the other things like the writing conference and the rehearsals and choir practice so that I have some things that I am doing just for me.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Downward trend continues...

I was down another 0.2 lbs this week after being really bad with the eating. So my grand total is 19 lbs. Yay! The nice weather is what has saved me I think, because I have been outside and moving and that really helps.

Monday, May 28, 2007

A Nice Feeling

I don't have to go anywhere tonight. I haven't started rehearsing for El Muchacho yet so I have nothing for that to panic me. My play is done at Walterdale Playhouse so I have nothing to worry about for that. I am waiting for Women's Words to start next week so I have nothing to do for that. It is a nice feeling. I might even work on my play tonight. That would be good.

We went, as a family, to Shrek the Third yesterday. I love sitting next to Oliver to watch kids movies. He laughs like he wants the whole building to shake. Wonder where he gets that from?

Thursday, May 24, 2007

After the Fall - All Fall Down....

Do not go to After the Fall at the U of A. It is too long, too boring, too pretentious and too much. Just don't go. Unless you want to be schooled in what not to do as a director. Did this guy not have anyone working with him on his MFA in Directing? I felt so bad for the actors to have to be in that play. Arthur Miller, what were you thinking? Had you never thought of cutting a few (20-30) pages of repetitive self-indulgent script? I mean, you write The Crucible and Death of a Salesman, you think you can do anything on a stage? Come on.

The girl who played Maggie was very good. Oh, and the girl who played Louise was strong, as well.

Am I too harsh?

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


After what I felt was a very disastrous audition, I am pleased to announce that I will be playing the part of Kalinda in El Muchacho at the Fringe this year. This is the Mexican version of The Mikado and Kalinda is the parallel role to Katisha. Very fun I should think! Thank goodness I got to sing the second song since I forgot the words to the first song I sang. I think I have replayed the audition in my head so many times since and even though I tried to "put it in the bubble and send it away" I was unable to. Now I have no excuse.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

So Very Good

What a great Opening! I felt so good about everything. The whole night was great. Despite there being 3 plays it moved along quite quickly (I could have done without the scene changes in the second show - scene changes? In a 30 minute play?!). I was so gratified by the audible sniffling and wiping of the tears in the time between our show and the next. Mark thinks I am mean to want people to cry, but I feel that this is one way for me to tell that it works. I was also so pleased by the partial standing ovation the cast received. It was so spontaneous and I think that if our show had been last in the line up it would have been the whole audience. What a wonderful feeling.

Oh yeah, and I loved my RED DRESS!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

It's different in my mind, but it still works and I like it...

Last night I saw a dress rehearsal of my play. Definitely a more real world now than it was 2 weeks ago when I last saw it. I am happy with it. Things were not exactly as I saw in my head, but the story is being told and I think it works. Can't wait until Monday night. Too much to do in between now and then. Unfortunately with Monday being a holiday I am not sure what I can do that day. I will figure it out. Besides, anything that can't be done for Opening can be done for Closing.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Vue Weekly - I don't sound stupid - Yay!

Anyone who writes plays in this city will tell you that the hardest part isn’t so much getting the idea, or finding its structure, or even fleshing it out into a workable bit of art—it’s finding a place to put it on. The sad reality is that even in a city with Edmonton’s myriad outlets for new work—everything from the Fringe’s blind lottery draw to the festivals and workshops devoted entirely to new works—establishing yourself on the scene can be something next to impossible without a couple big breaks.So when recent Fort McMurray expat Kristen Finlay found out about From Cradle to Stage, the Walterdale’s initiative to not only produce a new work, but also spend a year developing the play with the help of one of their directors and a dramaturge from the Alberta Playwrights Network, it didn’t take much convincing to get her to pull a play from her catalogue and try to take advantage of a rare opportunity.“As a writer, you really don’t have many opportunities to get to see your work produced, and as many plays as you might have on the shelf, I don’t think you’re ever quite as excited about them as when they go up on stage,” Finlay says of getting to premiere Pieces, about a mother suffering from dementia and reliving her life in her own head while her daughter struggles to come to grips with her external behaviour. “The opportunity is just huge, and you get a lot of confidence through the whole process, too. As a writer, you never really know if what you’re doing is good until other people see it, and everyone here has been very supportive and positive with everything.”
Finlay’s play will join two others, Katherine Koller’s Perdu and Phil Kreisel’s The Travelling Nude—about a lonely dog-food store clerk and a controversial small-town art teacher, respectively—as the inaugural one-acts in what the Walterdale hopes to make an annual affair. Though she admits that she’s unsure of exactly what will happen with Pieces now that its year of lavish attention is coming to an end, she hopes that audiences will be moved by a play she admits she was proud of even before it went through the Walterdale’s treatment.“I like it because I really got a chance to tell two stories, one about how the mother struggles to find herself in what was probably a time of transition, and one about figuring out how to deal with losing a loved one who’s still right there in front of you,” Finlay explains. “Ultimately, I think it’s a hopeful play—you see inside the mother’s mind, see why she’s acting and saying the things she is that don’t make much sense to you, but are actually providing glimpses into that person that’s still in there somewhere.”
Mon, May 21 - Sat, May 26
From Cradle to Stage: An Evening of One Acts
Featuring plays by Kristen Finlay, Katherine Koller, Phil Kreisel
Walterdale Playhouse (10322 - 83 Avenue), $12 - $14

Interviews - Hope I don't sound stupid...

On Sunday I did an over-the-phone interview with David Berry from the Vue. Today I did an over-the-phone interview with Christine Chomiak from CBC. I hope I sounded okay. I think I said what I wanted to, but it is hard to be clever and brilliant and sparkling on the spot. I did think about my answers before the interviews, but you never know what you will be asked. Still, it is exciting. I will be picking up a copy of the Vue tomorrow (and so should all of you). I also encourage you to listen to CBC Radio at 8:30 a.m. on Friday morning. Or not. I wish I knew how I would sound before I recommended it.

Tonight is media call. I am going, but I don't know if I am needed. Then I will scoot over to the CBC monologues dealie across the street. I have an idea for a one person show so it probably isn't bad to get some tips and ideas.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

A long couple of weeks...

Whew! I have been busy. That's my excuse, anyhow. I did do one post but it was on that day when we got the notice about this blog being "down" so for some reason it did not post. No worries. I also need to blame Facebook a little. Those of you who know Facebook totally understand!

On the weekend,. Chanteuses sang at the Columbian Choirs Night on Broadway. It was a very nice couple of evenings at the Royal Glenora Club. Dress rehearsal was one of the worst rehearsals I have ever had. When I left I was deeply worried about the actual performance. Thanks to all those who cheer led me through that dark day and a half. The shows actually went quite well. I think Friday was a tighter show, but Saturday was when my family and friends were there, so it was special too.

My sister came to Edmonton this weekend. It was a nice visit and despite having the concert on it was relatively low stress and NOT insane. Sometimes I have so much stuff on, it gets chaotic, but this was pretty good. Mark having Saturday off helped and I just tried to roll with it and do what I had to do and didn't do what I didn't have to do. It worked. We had a nice Mother's Day breakfast at Mom and Dad's house and I took the big sis out to the airport in the afternoon. I actually look forward to the airport drive (I picked her up too) because it allows for quality visiting that can be hard to come by in a home with children.

Nice save - In the midst of the weekend I totally forgot to phone the writer from the VUE who was doing an article on the one acts. I be lately called him and he was nice enough to interview me Sunday evening (whew!). Now lets hope I didn't sound like an idiot. I know he also interviewed the director so who knows what will be in the article.-

Monday, May 07, 2007

Hello Dolly! and then some other stuff...

I quite enjoyed Hello Dolly yesterday. A strange feeling to see a show I have done before, but I think it was long ago that I was not constantly comparing in my head. I just sat and enjoyed it. It was so nice to hear Erin sing, as I had heard she was good, but never had the privilege before. I am glad to confirm the rumours were true! I also liked seeing and hearing Elizabeth as Dolly. I didn't get to see much of her in Fiddler because she was behind me in the Dream, but this was such a good role for her. I especially liked Act 2, but I think it has more momentum naturally because the first act is so much about "setting things up". I was very impressed with Brian's direction. That space has it's challenges and the set worked really well, but so did the way he used it. It was also nice to visit with Linette and find out about how she is doing. I am glad that I am able to "keep in touch" with some of the Magnolias (if not all).

Later I had my Walterdale Board Meeting. It went well, as they usually do, but I note that there are some issues with the Board and the theatre that need to be dealt with. My particular challenge is there is one board member who doesn't listen and will lecture you about what she thinks you said, not what you really said. Frustrating. She means well, but it is hard to deal with. I know I am not the only one who encounters this. Last night I was a bit short with her and I regret that, but I really didn't know what else to do.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Dreamland Saturday Nights - Wonderful!

I got to go and see Dreamland Saturday Nights at the Varscona last night (Shadow Theatre). I was so glad. It was wonderful. I was so very impressed. What a lovely script and the actors were well cast. I thought a lot about it on the way home. It was so nice to go to a show where you knew right away that you liked it. I have been to so many that I had to think about it for a while before I could figure out what I relaly thought about it. I think that is a bad sign with regards to the shows in question. I find that there is a lot of theatre trying to be "dark and thought provoking" that it misses out on being well done. There is a real snobbery in the theatre community about "fluffier" stuff, you know, musical theatre and comedies. Often these are poo-pooed by the artsie-fartsies. I have a problem with that. I don't see anything wrong with entertaining people. As long as you do it well. This need to be dark and brooding is serverly over-rated. Besides, it is usually done ineffectively, riding on the script or the idea without really doing the work required to be good. I read the review of Oliver from the Citadel and Liz Nichols seems to revel in the extra "darkness" of the production. OMG, Oliver is a dark musical to begin with. If anything it should be lightened up. I know that was the problem with the production I was in --> TOO DARK. I am not sure if I am going to Oliver so it will be hard to check on it, but I just wish people would not necessarily equate darkness with quality.

That being said, I am off to Hello Dolly this afternoon. I know Brian (the director) has commented in his preview articles about it not being a lightness and joy, but I am kind of hoping it is more so than not. I love a good entertaining musical!

Friday, May 04, 2007

Looking Forward to the next few weeks....

I am entering a busy time if my wall calendar is any indication. Next week my sister comes to visit and I have Chanteuse's "Night on Broadway". The following week is dress rehearsal for Pieces. I was going to go to more rehearsals but I am very happy with how it is going and I feel like my presence doesn't add anything so I think I will just go to the dress rehearsal on Friday, May 18th and then go to Opening Night. I am planning on going to Opening and Closing for sure and then maybe the Tuesday and the Friday as well. It may depend on how tired I am. It is just that I do not know if it will ever be produced again so I want to see it while I can! It feels very done to me. But you never know what that last element will do to the work. Audience. They can be very unpredictable and I think the different audiences may tell me something about the script.

Had to go to Home Depot this morning and buy a new mini-fridge for the store. The old one died and everything perishable was in danger of perishing. Fun. Going to Home Depot in the pouring rain with 2 small children. Actually the kids were really good. The hard part was waiting for someone to help me in the store.

Monday, April 30, 2007

FaceBook is Addicting

I was invited to join FaceBook by my mother. I did and now I have a real problem. I am addicted and I don't get other stuff done! I have found a lot of friends and I am looking for more. CRAZY! For those who say computers are anti-social they do not understand how this works. What a great way to get in touch and find people you haven't seen for a while. I am lucky because I was a teacher and a lot of my students are on because it seems to be a "younger people" kind of thing, but I have found a lot of them and I think it is cool to see what they are up to. Anyhow, i hope I can curb my addiction and get back to work on my writing.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Just Call Me a Patron of the Arts...

I went to "Footlights on Fashion" at Walterdale Theatre last night. I was solo because we had no baby sitter. I am not sure if we would have spent more or less at the Silent Auction had Mark been there. I came home with $288 worth of items. Actually they were probably worth more than that but that's what I paid. Of course, there were 2 items that I also really wanted that I lost in the final push of bidding. I only bid on things that I wanted and I knew I would use (theatre subscriptions, restaurant gift certificates, a gift for my Mom) and it was for a very good cause (Walterdale Theatre!). I would have loved to have come home with the painting but the minimum bid was $500.00. No one bid on it. I think they are putting it in today as well. I think that if Mark had been there we might have bid on it because we like having "real" art and we especially like Canadian artists. I just couldn't bid $500.00 without a consultation with Mark. Anyhow, the fashion show is on again today if anyone out there wants to support a great local community theatre!

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Ten Lost Years, 90 found minutes...

I went to Seacoast Studio's "10 Lost Years" last night with my friend AM. She studied at that studio when she did a year in Vancouver. Years ago I had taken a monologue workshop with Scott Swann at Dramaworks and it was AMAZING (I highly recommend it if he is ever back again - best weekend session ever). I had told her and she did the workshop and then signed on for the week long Shakespeare workshop with him and then a few years later she went and studied with him for a year. The Scott Swann method of learning and doing monologues is a very distinctive one. I really like it as a method of learning the stories and it is great at keeping the actors "present" on stage. There are some draw-backs though. Some of the actors were a little under-prepared. I think they relied on the method and didn't do as much work as they should have. The result was that two or three of the monologues lacked a narrative arc. The story was there and was told, and in character, but the monologue didn't necessarily feel dramatic. Overall the show was really good. The music was wonderful. Such great harmony and voices with character and emotion. I just think that there were a couple of rough spots that needed refinement.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Busy as a bee...

Whew! Thursdays are busy! I now feel very tired, but it was a good day.

Happy about my expected Income Tax Refund - YAY! Last year I had to pay so getting something back is a joyful thing!

Happy about WW --> down another pound for a total of 16.4 lbs! YAY! All those stroller walks this week have paid off.

Happy about Chanteueses --> Jam packed rehearsal but my independent practice paid off when it came to Popular. I am good for the Mamma Mia stuff for the most part and most of my issues are with words. Overall I am in good shape and now at least I know where I have to put the work in.

Nice dinner with AM at The Blue Plate Diner (Dine out for Life --> 25% of the bill goes to AIDS funding). I love Colonel Mustard's, but this was a nice change for the weekly dinner. Always a good conversation with AM and we talked about those things near and dear to us. Mostly theatre! Ha!

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Come to the Fashion Show at Walterdale Theatre

This weekend, Walterdale Theatre is having a Fashion Show/Silent Auction. I have been told that it is more than just a Fashion Show with a melodrama and scripted "bits" and it will be quite the show. It is also a Silent Auction with lots of bid on to help raise funds for the projects we are working on. In two years we will be having out 50th Anniversary Season, so we are hoping to have a few things to commemorate the birthday! Maurice Pharmacy (aka US) have donated 2 lovely baskets for the Silent Auction (one for each show). I love themes so one basket is "Preserve Your Theatre Memories" (a scrap-booking basket with paper and scissors and stickers, etc...) and the other is "For the Beginning Playwright" (full of blank journals, pens, books and writing, etc...). I had fun putting them together and I hope they bring in some cashola for the theatre!

Oh yeah, if you want to come, call tix on the square!

Monday, April 23, 2007

BINGO hurts

I worked a BINGO last night as part of my Chanteuses commitment. I am sore today. Please don't laugh at my wimpiness. It probably didn't help that I had done 4 miles on the treadmill yesterday morning. With the amount of walking around the BINGO parlour I did I probably did another 4 miles. Next time I have to work a BINGO I shall bring a spare pair of shoes to change into since I hear that is what waitresses do. It's the whole "a change is as good as a rest" concept. With about and hour and 1/2 left in my shift I was asked if I could stay for the late shift for which I would receive a $35.00 registration credit (? - why was the initial BINGO worth a $100.00 deposit cheque?) but I kind of knew I would not be able to handle it. Anyhow, I shall do another next year if I am still in the choir. At least I know it will be a good work out.

Friday, April 20, 2007

How to lose $55.00 in less than 1/2 an hour...

Had fun tonight at the Century Casino. We went there to celebrate Magnolia's 30th birthday. It was nice to get dressed up and go out like grown-ups. It was also great to see other grown-ups, especially a couple of the Steel Ladies! So how do you lose $55.00 in less than 1/2 an hour? First you waste $15.00 in slot machines --> that will take about 5 minutes. Then lose $30.00 at Caribbean Stud Poker. I don't' even know quite how that game worked. That will take another 5 minutes. Then take the remaining $10.00 to the Blackjack tables and you will likely get about 20 minutes of play. I was "schooled" on how to properly signal for a hit or hold. The dealer didn't like my technique, but he was funny about it. Anyhow, Casinos are sad and surreal. Most of the people didn't look very happy, but we were!

WW Check in

I had missed a week at WW and got there today with Mom. I was happy to be down an additional 0.6 lbs for a total of 15.4 lbs. So I got another 5 lb sticker ('cause I like them!). I have to keep reminding myself that even though I have a long way to go (at least another 50 in my mind) I am doing great. I think because 15 is a small part of the total it doesn't feel as significant as I want it to. For some people 15 would be insurmountable. My new goal is to get my 10% by the end of the month. I think I can, I think I can...

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Hair Today...

As of last night I am back to brown hair. Okay, I left two blond peek-a-boos, but I am primarily brunette again. I did it myself as I am trying to cut back on the spending and it costs about $150.00 to get my hair coloured in the salon vs. $15.00 for the drugstore stuff. I would have stayed blond had I gone to a salon, but like I said, I am trying to be more restrained about the cash thing, oh, and because time for an appointment is so hard to find.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Virginia Tech

This is a tough one. It is so awful to hear about things like this. I flit from news report to a game and then back to a news report. So terrible to think that you can go to a "safe place" and not be safe. If I think about it too much I would have to keep the kids in the house all the time and home school them. But you can't live like that. And it was a tragedy, yes, but what percentage of the total murders in America yesterday were those 31 people? Hard to say. People always say things like "I never thought it could happen to me" when they go through tragedy, but you have to think that or else you would be paralyzed by fear.

Saturday, April 14, 2007


I had a really nice visit with a good friend of mine who was in town this week. She and I both lived in Fort McMurray for many years and we did a show together (Oliver) when she first moved up there. I remember we were all very guarded about her at first because she was new to the theatre and the city and got the lead in the show. That is a tough position to be in for a person new to a theatre community. Anyhow, once we got to know her it was alright - better than that - because she was just as cool as we were (ha ha ha). I remember showing her how to paint on cleavage because she didn't have any and she played a whore.

Anyhow, over the years I did a lot more shows and she did a few and started having kids. When I started having kids we were both pregnant at the same time twice, so that's kind of cool. She has 4 boys and I have 2 so they came over yesterday and tore around the house and had a good time. I got to visit with my friend and it was just like old times. Last night we met up with more "old friends" and went to Blades of Glory and laughed like idiots. It was very nice.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Shaking Things Up a Bit...

I went to see Antony and Cleopatra at Walterdale Playhouse last night. I did find a date - two, in fact. My mom filled in for Mark and then at the last minute Mark showed up and bought a ticket. Mom and I went to Packrat Louie's before the show for a little supper and it was very lovely. I had only eaten 12 points earlier in the day so I was free to enjoy my dinner (I would've enjoyed it anyhow, but it was nice to know I was still being good points wise).

The show was really well done. I was impressed with it overall. I think, however, because it is a play that I was completely unfamiliar with and a tragedy it was hard to leave it with a excited rush. I find that Shakespeare's language, no matter how much it is raved about, fortifies the fourth wall instead of opening it up. You never lose the sense that a Shakespeare Play is "happening now" because the language adds the the theatricality of the production. That being said, I don't mind that. It just prevents a total emotional investment for me.

The director (who I know as a friend, so I will try to be objective) did some wonderful things with tableau and shadow. It really worked as part of the production and didn't come off as a "drama school assignment" that sometimes happens when people try to use those techniques. He also trimmed the script effectively so that it raced along and kept the audience with it. I liked that because it came in at just over 2 hours and you didn't feel bored. He did a nice job with the edits.

I was also very impressed with the overall calibre of the actors. I was very pleased with all the "men who could act and speak Shakey's language". There was a broad spectrum of ages and no one stood out as weak. Nice to see. The 3 leads were particularly good. I have only seen Cody before (Octavian) onstage. But he, Marc Antony and Cleopatra were all really strong. You believed all three of them. I also really liked Enobarbus.

My only problem, and I almost hate to comment, was a costume/make-up thing. Okay, Here you have Cleopatra, who is giving her heart and soul to her performance. She's really good. You believe her. She's funny, she's passionate, she commands the stage. She is working hard out there and doing her work well. She should be dressed in an outfit that really complements her. One that outshines the clothing of her "women". She is Cleopatra. She's in a society where the opulence of the royalty would be displayed. BUT her primary costume is plain in comparison to her handmaidens and was ill-fitted and distracting. I know it may sound petty, but I think the designer let her down. Why do the handmaidens have sparkles and more elaborate hair. Is she not the queen? I felt it was a mistake of the design. I also wished that all the Egyptian women, and most particularly Cleopatra, had stronger makeup. They looked quite washed out and all were in need of a little lipstick (dark lips ladies!). This is Egypt where the ladies use kohl and henna and paint with gold on their skin. Like I said, it is a minor issue with an otherwise successful production. I just think that all the pieces need to support the work not detract from it.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Weird Dream Last Night

I had one of those very vivid weird dreams last night. I don't know why. We were doing Steel Magnolias and for some reason the actress who played Truvy was late (a traffic thing) so the director stepped in for her. This was very strange and there were 2 guys in the show whose function I could not quite figure out. Then Truvy showed up and we explained to the audience and started over. There was also this strange sub-plot with treasure being hidden in the audience. I really have no idea what this dream was all about, but it was nice to see the chick from Steel Magnolias again, if only in my dreams.

I am off to the Walterdale tonight to see Antony and Cleopatra. My date (read: husband) cancelled on me due to the busy-ness of work so I have to find a date or go solo. Know anyone who would like to see the show tonight for free?

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Away From Home...

I am away from home, at the Best Western in Olds, Alberta. I don't do the best outside my own home. Well, I am not suffering, but I do find that when I am in certain situations I really WANT to be home. I get thrown off sometimes because I feel like I do not know the rules. I try to participate and then I usually feel like I made a mis-step. It stresses me out a bit. I also get stressed out managing my children on the road. There are all these other people you have to "worry" about. As their mother, I recognize that they are tired and off their schedule, so my instinct is to cut them a little slack, however, I get the impression that other people are not so forgiving. It pumps the stress even higher when these other people start trying to "manage" your children for you, even though you are in the room. I see them do exactly the WRONG thing with the oldest one all the time. I also get a little insulted because their "stepping in" suggests to me that they don't think I am doing the work right. Imagine if you had to do your work in a new place with none of your usual tools and then you had someone come and evaluate your performance and literally start taking over your work. That's what it feels like.